Wishes for You ... A Letter to Teddy on His Third Birthday

Three years ago we brought you home.  A tiny 7lbs 1oz, snuggled all safe in your car seat.  Your Papa driving better than he ever has, me nervous in the back seat pretty sure I was going to vomit.  We made it home, and you showed us what unending love felt like.

Now you are three years old.  You just seem so big and mature. There is no trace of babyhood left on your body --- you are so much longer, leaner, and older in your pictures now than compared to just when you started pre-school.  This year you started preschool without hesitation and have relished every single day.  You learned to count and learned all your colors.  You are getting faster, and smoother on your feet, you can climb anything with ease and love to show us your talents.  You have a love (boarding on obsession) for trucks and cars and trains but really construction vehicles.  This year you also established a real love for watching movies, and cuddling while you do it.

Your papa and I love to watch you play and problem solve with your friends and are impressed with your sense of self when you tell us that you "need a break" if you are overwhelmed.  I am learning to appreciate your opinions, you are opinionated, oh so opinionated :-) 

And yet, sometimes it hits us just how small you still are compared to the rest of the world. The second you really fall and need us, while you are sleeping peacefully, when you are holding your Papa's hand --- you still seem like a little baby to me. After all, you are only three and not thirteen: but sometimes it's hard to tell.

You get confused about whether you are 'big' or 'little', too. Some days you declare with all of your being, "I not a baby, I a big boy!" and other days you say, "Carry me like a baby." Ah, the paradox of growing up. 

We try to give you the space to grow but the mom in me stays close enough to be there as soon as you need me.  I'm trying to roll with your mood swings (we joke that you are bipolar at times, a side affect of being three) and praise you for being a making big boy choices and listening, while giving you extra cuddles when you are feeling overwhelmed.

You are just the sweetest kid I know, with a kind heart, most infectious (sometimes maniacal) laugh, and heartbreaking smile.  You are sure testing your sense of self-boundaries-independence, as you are supposed to at this age, too.  But (most days) I can see through all of that 'threenager' drama and see my precious little boy, doing his very best trying to figure out how this world works.

You conquered this last year with ease , if not grace, and I have a few wishes for you for this coming one:

I hope you never lose your adventurous spirit… keep on being the most fun kid at the park.

I hope you always find comfort in the ones that you love… because we’ll always have your back.

I hope you hold on to your kindness ... being kind is good for the whole world, and the world needs more kindness.

I hope you never loose your sense of wonder in the world ... the world is a wonderful and magical place, worthy of your excitement and joy, don't let people tell you otherwise.

I hope you still hold my hand ... because it's not time for me to let go just yet.

We love you, Theodore Sherwood. We love you, oh so very much.