You've Got This Mama!
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I ran into a friend the other day and we started talking about how we view ourselves as moms. She said she didn't feel like she was a great mom because she was short with her kids, unable to deal with the whining and arguing, and felt like she yelled and pushed back too much.
The first thing I thought was, **I feel that way, too. We all do. **
There are weeks when I'm sure I'm not doing it right. When there is a lot of repeating, a lot of sighing, not a lot of giving Teddy time to make a choice or process what I said, and a lot of "NO, TEDDY!" "TEDDY, STOP." And not a lot of enjoying my time. I then feel so, so guilty for not being the best mom I can be.
This is a HARD job. Caring for someone 24/7. Being needed 24/7. It's a lot.
What makes it harder is how hard us moms are on ourselves. We feel like if our child's day is not 100% full of laughter we have failed. If we need to raise our voices, we have done something wrong. And we feel weak if we make a threat time and time again but don't follow through.
That mama heart wants so, so much to get this right. We love our children with endless love, so much that it hurts when we think we might have taken a mis-step, snapped at one of them, yelled after promising to not yell anymore, missed bedtime/another soccer practice/forgot about a project because of work. When we feel like we may have let them down, that's when the guilt and regret can pool and can really hurt.
When those feelings of inadequacies, guilt, and regret start building, remember: You love those kids of yours HARD. You would do ANYTHING for them. You do give them everything, and all that you have to give daily.
You give your kids the WORLD. You have a huge heart that’s wide open—and you’re giving them all the love they need, day in and day out.
Now for the hard part, as mothers we have to remember to give ourselves the same love and grace that we strive to give our children because we need it as much as they do. We are so good at telling them to take their time, to not get frustrated, to use kind words about themselves. Let's take a lesson from our own book here!
Look around you, that mom at preschool drop off who is all put together, she might have just had an epic battle over breakfast and already be at her wit's end. That mom who is running around the park with her kids may be wracked with guilt because she has yelled twice today despite promising herself she wouldn't, that mom who is holding her son's hand, tussling his hair, and sharing a smoothie with him, she may have made him cry earlier by slamming his car door after buckling him in his carseat because she was so over the "I wants" (that's me, btw).
No one out there is Maria Von Trap! Every mother out there has felt those feelings of insufficiency and guilt and worry at one time or another. Don’t ever think that the rest of us are getting this motherhood thing right every day while you’re struggling to find your way. You are not alone in this winding, mountainous journey called motherhood.
Be kind to yourself, you deserve it because guess what ... you're a great mom and you've got this!
