Formula for Success

This is a blog post that has been taken me a long time to write. This topic is sensitive and personal. It's a topic of choice and feelings and one that hits close to home for many, many families. It's also a divisive topic for many. I get that and I have tried really hard not to be insenstive. I hope this post touches each of you in some way. xoxo

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Dear Exhausted Moms of New Babies, Moms of Toddlers holding onto guilt, Moms struggling to make a decision, this message is for you,

Last month (August) was National Breastfeeding Awareness Month. Facebook and Instagram were full of beautiful pictures of moms breastfeeding in fields of flowers, groups of moms breastfeeding in public spaces, moms breastfeeding toddlers, new moms breastfeeing new babies.

It's a month that hits me hard. There is a huge segment of the population that doesn't breastfeed, or supplements with formula. We know that breastfeeding isn't the only way to raise healthy kids, and somehow that message has been lost in translation along the supported way.

There isn't much support out there for moms who formula feed, in fact there is more side-eye than support.

I am a mom to a child who was formula fed and is now thriving and devouring life one bounding step at a time. I am proud of my decision to formula feed Teddy because I know it was what was right for us, but it takes being very strong to stand up to the looks and questions.

You should be to, whatever your decision is.

The judging and pushing starts well before your child is born. There are "baby friendly" hospitals that will not allow formula on the floor unless "medically necessary." We chose against this type of facility and for a more family friendly hospital that had an open mind.

Friends will ask what your plan is - um to try and see what works? Plan A) Breastfeed, should that not work or it not be ideal plan B) keep baby and mom happy.

Websites and books tell you there is only one right way to feed your baby. Don't listen to them. Listen to yourself.

Zach and I discussed this at length before we had Teddy. We wanted to try breastfeeding, there are many great things for your baby that come from it, but if it didn't work we were comfortable with formula. I'm glad we had an open conversation about it because the stress of making such a big decision was lifted when the time came.

Turns out Teddy needed to be on formula for medical reasons (read more here) but even had he not, I would have probably chosen to stop breast feeding.

I hated breastfeeding. I was filled with anxiety - did he eat enough, should I feed him again, which side should I use (even though I was using an app). I disliked having to prop myself up on a thousand pillows or finding just the right way to settle in. Some women just flow right with it, for me it felt like a series of complicated dance steps I was never getting right.

The relief when we started formula was palpable. We could cuddle when he ate and curl up and doze off when he was done. We were so much more connected. Formula made me feel like a better mom.

I withstood the weird comments from some friends and family and the side eye from some strangers at Target when I was loading up my cart with $37 formula to keep us happy and healthy.

It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, formula or breastmilk, the choice is your and yours alone!. You made a human. It is now up to you to keep them alive and thriving. Part of that is also keeping yourself alive and thriving.

Should breastfeeding not be in the cards for you, for whatever reason, not enough milk, too stressful and anxiety producing, you just don't like it, or any other reason, then we are lucky that formula has come so very far and can keep our babes so very healthy and us as families healthy, too. In those first precious months it is important to enjoy life, not be consumed by it.

So, listen to your instincts. Do what is right for you and your family. That is all that matters.

So, mom who breastfeed for a year you are awesome! Mom who breastfeed for 3 months, and pumped the rest, you rock! Formula mom, formula, you are amazing! Mom who is breastfeeding and supplementing with formula, you are doing great! There is no right or wrong way to keep your babe happy and healthy. There is just YOUR way and your way is the one that counts.

xoxo

KBR